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In some cases, there are only one or two obvious choices for a wedding flower girl and/or ring bearer. Lucky you! Other couples have a more difficult decision when there are several prime family member children and/or close friends’ kids to choose from. Who will be paying for the flower girl and ring bearer’s outfits may also help you make up your mind. Normally, the child’s parents are responsible for purchasing/renting their outfit. You should also decide whether or not you'll want the flower girl(s) and ring bearer(s) to remain upfront during the ceremony, and then consider the potential children's' ages. Kids who are 4 and older usually would do OK, whereas younger children may need to walk the isle, then move off to the side to sit and watch at some point.
If your heart is set on having children participate in the ceremony, it’s probably best to consider family members first. That being said, what if your close family has 7 kids to choose from? Get creative. Will you be lighting candles? Older kids (ages 8+) could be involved with this part. You could have all the kids participate if that’s feasible!
One option would be to skip having children participate altogether if you foresee problems.
Another would be to give a group of children a job at the reception, or as guests arrive instead. Pass out bubbles, candies or guest favors, hand out programs, collect gifts, help start the dancing, perform a song or dance, etc.
Be straightforward and ask the parents directly if they want to have their kids involved or not. You may eliminate some this way. Even though you’ll want to try and please everyone, ultimately it’s your wedding.
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