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Complete Article:  Bringing New Life to Your Relationship. Small changes in you that can bring big positive changes to your relationship. 

by Krista Dunk, NWweddingplace.com

What habits do you have as a couple that need some new life?  Are there personal changes you could make that would benefit your relationship?

Each married couple have their own bad habits.  Here are a few examples:  Ladies who let their looks go and don't so much as brush their hair before their husband gets home from work.  I've been guilty of that one myself!  Or husbands who plop themselves in front of the TV for hours on end ignoring their wife's need for conversation.  Little, thoughtful acts of kindness towards the other person are habitually neglected.  I'm shocked at the bad language some couples use towards each other - even just a disrespectful "you idiot" tone of voice tendency.  Some men and women have the habit of taking their spouses on emotional roller coasters, but feel entitled to do so. 

Whatever the case may be, consider this:  If you were in a brand new relationship with someone, what would you be willing to change about yourself?   Maybe you would loose 20 lbs.  Maybe you would keep your house a bit neater to make a good impression.  Would you change your bad communication habits? Maybe you'd learn to ride a motorcycle because that's the other person's hobby.  Maybe you would go to church with them because they asked.  When they arrived, would you put on some lip gloss to spruce yourself up?  Maybe you would change your spending habits and stick to a budget better.  Would you be more understanding or merciful?  Would you try to be more exciting and have a bit more spark in the bedroom?  The list could go on. 

It's a shame to think we wouldn't give our current partners the same attention and benefits.  I can't tell you how many times I've seen a divorced couple who re-invent themselves to attract or secure new mates when they could have saved the divorce heartache and made positive changes sooner.  It breaks my heart. 

It's so easy for married couples to get stuck in "ruts" in any area of their relationship - finances, affection, sex, communication, household duties, parenting, etc.  Why is that?!  Here's my observation and experience so far:

  • There seems to be no need to 're-invent' yourself with someone you're comfortable with.
  • Couples form communication/financial/physical/household habits (good and bad) with each other, unintentionally most of the time.
  • Couples take each other for granted (usually not on purpose).
  • You fall into a pattern of behavior that is acceptable to both people, or is perceived as acceptable until one person wants change.
  • "The other person accepted me initially the way I was so why would I need to make any changes?"
  • It's easy to cop the "that's just the way I am" attitude when you're in a committed relationship.
  • It's not always easy to communicate the need for change, and sometimes you can't even pinpoint what changes are needed.
  • It's easier to think the other person has a problem rather than own up to your shortcomings or your resistance to change (positive change).

When you have a quiet moment, contemplate these few thoughts:

  • What would I be willing to change about myself (positive change) if I had to find a new partner? 
  • Where am I being lazy in our relationship right now?
  • What habits do we have as a couple that are stale and need some refreshing?

Just a few thought, attitude and behavior adjustments towards each other can make a big difference in your relationship.  It can be like a breath of fresh air filling your home.  Two people working together like a team can make a marriage great - no luck involved!

Copyright NWweddingplace.com 2008. All information contained herein is intellectual property and copyrighted by www.NWweddingplace.com. For information regarding use of this article, please contact article-inquiries@NWweddingplace.com.

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