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Complete Article: Two Dreamers - One Dream.  The Process of Melding Two Lives Into One Future.

by Krista Dunk, NWweddingplace.com

Once you get married, two sets of dreams, aspirations, skills, and personalities suddenly merge.  Think about all of the things you hope to accomplish in this lifetime.  Consider all the education, career paths, hopes, talents, and plans that you’ve been working on up to this point.  Realize that your partner has been doing the exact same thing.  Once you are married, your individual futures become nullified in a sense, and the future of your joint life begins.  A whole new set of hopes, dreams, goals, is born for the future of ‘you’ together as one. 

Once you tie that marriage knot, you (individual) becomes re-defined to 'you' (couple). The couple 'you' is now entwined on the same path for the future. So far we've been assuming that both people have goals, dreams, future plans, and some sort of inner-motivation.  Be cautious of entering into a relationship with someone who lacks dreams, goals or inner-motivation towards something positive.  Those who lack purpose may hold their partner back and seem more like a mooch!  Consider what you want in life and what you value. Here's a suggestion; when you choose your spouse, be like a hitchhiker.  Have a big sign asking "Are you going my way?"

What do you value?  What does your partner value?  What are your dreams and goals?  What are their dreams and goals?  Do you know?  You need to!  Some examples of values might be:

Money Health & Fitness Good work ethic
Integrity & Honesty Pets Generosity
Materialism Faith Personal growth

Some examples of dreams and goals might be:

Starting a business Travel Missions & aid work
Career path Education Investing
Having children Lifestyle Skill development

Two unique individuals coming together will rarely be in complete agreement about their goals and dreams.  However, once you are married, they somehow need to be combined in a meaningful and satisfying way.  In my opinion, it's actually more important to have similar values.  When your value base is the same or very similar, your goals and dreams for the future will most likely fit together more smoothly.  Selfish dreams and goals will cause strife and resentment in a relationship. Most likely one person would end up feeling unsatisfied and dragged along for a ride.  This, again, may reveal a root value difference between the two people.

Become a unified team and see how 'you' (couple) can get more accomplished in life than you (individual) could have by yourself.  Remember - goals are what you envision yourself 'doing' and accomplishing, while values are the motivators showing who you 'are' inside. 

Just keepin' it real .  Be blessed!

Copyright NWweddingplace.com 2008. All information contained herein is intellectual property and copyrighted by www.NWweddingplace.com. For information regarding use of this article, please contact article-inquiries@NWweddingplace.com.

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